


Batboy's Misheard Lyrics

by QueenVictoria88



Category: Batman (Comics)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 04:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13473372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenVictoria88/pseuds/QueenVictoria88
Summary: The Batboy's argument about a girl being naughty, annoys and pisses off Batman, but mainly it just confuses him. What they're discussing is public knowledge, but better to be on the safe side, if you don't know about S&M or the song.





	Batboy's Misheard Lyrics

**Author's Note:**

> This comes from a similar discussion coworkers I once knew had. I brought it up not being serious, but people who thought I was, really got into it. I kept it up as if I was Tim and kept using grammar excuses people didn’t bother to check, so I was also the Jason. I don’t know why, but I wanted to do this as if the Batboys were having the same discussion. I just found it really funny. Enjoy. As always, I don’t own any rights to the characters or the song discussed.

 

Bruce had asked the team to get ready because there were three major players spotted in Gotham, but nothing significant had happened yet. Of course to Batman, being prudent was extremely imperative. Therefore, when only Robin and Catwoman were ready and waiting by the Batmobile he angrily went looking for the other three boys, Nightwing, Red Hood and Red Robin.

Red Robin had just finished putting on his gear, but still had to find his one boot. “ ’Sex might be bad, but I’m perfectly good at it.’ She’s using the wrong conjunction. It should be ‘Sex might be bad and I’m perfectly good at it’ it’s simple grammar.” Tim explained to Dick for the third time with a little annoyance in his voice.

Dick raised his voice as he was zipping up the back of his uniform. “You keep saying that! Still, there’s no difference between those two sentences. Grammar Nazi!”

“No… no… let me see. ‘Sex might be bad, but I’m perfectly good at it. Sex might be bad and I’m perfectly good at it.’ I think… I think I get what he’s saying.” Jason said as he leaned against the wall. He had been ready, but wasn’t going to miss an opportunity to antagonize a brotherly conversation.

“Thank you. Two completely different statements.” Tim said throwing his hand out pointing at Jason as if his words justified him.

“Jason, shut up! You’re just agreeing to be difficult!” Dick hollered.

“NO.” Jason protested.

“Then explain it.” Dick demanded as he put his Escrima sticks in his suit.

“She’s trying to…” Tim started but was cut off.

“I asked Jason.” Dick corrected.

Jason unfolded his arms as he explained. “Well like the one is saying sex is bad like un-pleasurable, but I’m perfectly good at it.”

Before he could finish Batman had come in with Catwoman slinking behind him. His voice was a full indication of his mood. “Why are you not ready! What could you be you discussing that’s taking this long?”

“Hi Bruce one second. Go on.” Dick said to Jason while raising a finger to Bruce; which sent his anger to the point of visible agitation.

Jason continued. “Tim’s is saying, sex is naughty and I’m perfectly good at it.”

“Jason?” Batman exclaimed unsure of what to make of that statement.

“No, see it’s true. ‘Sex might be bad and I’m perfectly good at it’. Is correct.” Tim glanced at Bruce as he said it gesturing with his hand out as if it should end the argument. He was also now fully dressed and ready.

“Tim, what are you talking about? We don’t have time for this.” Batman’s impatience and even more so confusion was evident.

Dick ignored Bruce. “There is no difference!” He shouted. “The changing of the conjunction doesn’t change the meaning of how sex is naughty. ‘Sex might be bad, but I’m perfectly good at it’ is fine!”

Selina came around Bruce and finally spoke up. “You’re all wrong. It’s ‘I may be bad, but I’m perfectly good at it’ not sex. Although the AND would probably make more sense.”

The boys each looked up at her and then to each other with this new information.

Batman’s head snapped in Selina’s direction. “You know what they’re talking about?!”

“Of course I do.” She purred to him placing a hand on his shoulder and leaning into it.

Jason started to exit and it began the other two boys to follow suit. As Jason passed Catwoman he nudged her saying. “Yea, of course she does because ‘Sticks and stones may break her bones, but chains and whips excite her.’”

“Me-ow.” She replied playfully.

“Jason?!” Batman called out in disgust.

All the boys were just laughing with each other as they left to go to the Batmobile.

“Relax Bruce, it’s a song. They were discussing a song.” Selina pushed off him jokingly and left. Batman stood there now alone feeling angry and agitated and not sure what to do about it.

“Batman, would you hurry up!” Jason yelled back to him. “Jeez, He’s getting old.” He said to the others with a grin.

Batman rolled his eyes and grunted.


End file.
